Public Relations for the Peripheral

Washington Image Makers

Thom (pronounced Tüm) Limaginista (Spanish for the Imagist) struggles for a place at the edge of Washington power politics. If he were a bar room darts target he might not be the wall but nor would he be any of the circles. No power tables for him at important Washington restaurants where important people go to feel important and be importantly sucked up to. I should have ended that sentence with “at” — yes, “sucked up at” — but that too is a preposition, with which sentences should always be un-ended.

A good day for Thom (pronounced Tüm) Limaginista (he always uses the parenthetical to avoid being called thumb) would look more like a dumpster dive than a power table to even the peripherally important or “didn’t-you-used-to-be’s.”

In his latest incarnation, Thom (pronounced Tüm) Limaginista has offered his services as the premiere image-maker to actual image-makers.

In the Land of No Substance bordered by the White House, the Capitol, Democratic National Committee headquarters and Republican National Committee Headquarters, battalions of image-makers elbow each other for the attention of inhabitants of the smallest and most centrally located of the darts target circles. With neither barriers to entry nor any known predators (other than scorn, at best an unreliable predator), the number of image-makers is now far higher than the demand for image making.

And there lies the market niche for the public relations services to be provided by Thom (pronounced Tüm) Limaginista.

After the unfortunate failure of his previous effort to Photoshop political grip and grin pictures for those who were unable to buy them with political contributions, as tradition requires, Thom (pronounced Tüm) Limaginista has come up with a new plan. (His highly publicized sample featuring the smiling faces of Sarah Palin and Nancy Pelosi locked in a hug ended the earlier project.)

For $10,000 a day, he will surreptitiously inform “Le Tout Washington” that your communications are of such importance that they have actually be scrutinized by the NSA. Not just the metadata, the conversations themselves. A few lurid details to pique the interest followed by a flurry of pleas for confidentiality and uplifting admonitions about the national interest. Client always unavailable for comment.

Better hurry. This is only available to a select few. In Washington it could be a winner.

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Haven Pell

At the conclusion of the Constitutional Convention of 1787, a woman asked Benjamin Franklin, “Well, Doctor, what have we got, a republic or a monarchy?” Without hesitation, Franklin replied, “A republic, if you can keep it.”

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4 comments

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  • I’ve decided to add a substantive comment, after laughing.

    I don’t take the NSA scandal too seriously. True, there probably should be set up some sort of oversight, but I really don’t think it has any interest in many of us.

    Asking the NSA to stop monitoring metadata, in my opinion, is like asking the Homeland Security to stop the scanning people at the airport. This upsets many because, perhaps, they can see you nude underneath your clothes. Do you think they really care? After seeing 10,000 nude people, whoever is looking at the screen should not really care. It’s passing thing. No personal involvement. Like a doctor examining you. What’s the alternative? Doing no scanning. True, it may not stop everything. But hopefully it does some stop some.

    I am extremely critical of most of the other scandals surrounding the Obama administration. Particularly Benghazi. I’m awaiting to see what happens with the IRS. I think Holder should go.

    It’s very ironic that Obama, as a Senator, criticized many of the things Bush did, but as President he expanded them.