Lately, I have been concerned about the decreasing quality of American political bamboozling. In the past, it always seemed that political bamboozlers were able to dominate the naïve bamboozlees.

Like lemmings, we bamboozlees followed the rhetoric of our preferred bamboozlers over the cliff of heightened hopes only to be dashed on the rocks below.

But now it feels different. Crowds of bamboozlees – unlike lemmings — are stopping well short the cliff, as it dawns on them that their preferred bamboozlers are really just a bunch of clowns for whom it is hardly worth dashing their bodies on rocks.

Traffic jams have been reported as the disgruntled unbamboozled now stand around complaining about low quality bamboozling provided by political leaders, media commentators and random talking heads.

Ask yourself a question: “which elected official, media personality, political party or paid flack do you believe on any subject?” If there were something important at stake, which would you follow?

You are not alone. I agree. None.

A solution is called for lest political coffers go unfilled. Ballot boxes might soon be stuffed only with the votes of the deceased.

As a public service, I set out in search of truly high quality bamboozling with two possible business models in mind: replace the existing ones or teach them how to bamboozle better.

It soon became clear that there would not be enough skilled bamboozlers to replace Washington’s fleet of elected officials, media personalities, political parties and flacks whose woeful bamboozling skills gave rise to this chronic problem.

So I continued my search for a smaller number of higher quality bamboozlers who could teach the fading political establishment how to do a better job.

Here she is – the better bamboozler.

Her repertoire includes standbys like

  • Read me one more story
  • Mom always gives me ice cream
  • My tummy hurts
  • I want a drink of water
  • Or, as you can see, I always help with the pancakes

Though not yet six, her most successful grandfather bamboozlings are delivered in a whine-free tone now highly coveted among pre-school educators and described as self-advocacy.

After spending several days with her recently, I am opening Bamboozle U. Our democracy is at stake.

Well, do you have a better idea?

 

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